OZOD SHUDANI ABDULHAKIM AZ GARAVGON

Az khastagivu bemadori rui nimtakhti ofis sakht khobam burdaast. Az sadoi taq-taqi dar bedor shudam. Darro kushoda budam, ki Ismoil az hayajon bo sadoi baland:

– Abdulhakimro milisaho ovardand, – guft.

– Kay? – fikr mekardam, khob mebinam. Magzam hanuz bedor nashuda bud. Namefahmidam, in haqiqat ast? YO khob?

Ismoil ba shast az zinaho poyon raft, bechora az khursandi jahida-jahida meraft. Sarosema davida, ba kucha baromadam. U moshinashro megardond. Man ba moshini khudam nishastam, pasu pesh bo surat ba havli shitoftem. Dastu poyam melarzid. Magzamro guyo tuman faro girifta bud. Fikre gayr az «ovar- dand, ovardand» dar saram nabud. Goh garm meshudam, goh sard, goh araq mekardam, goh khunuk mekhurdam. Vaqte nazdi havli moshinro nigoh doshtam, mador nadoshtam poin shavam. Magzam ohista-ohista bedor meshud.

YAkbora barqvor fikre ba saram zad – amniyat! Onho az pasi man nazorat doshtand! Man joyro baroyashon muayyan kardam, onho kori khudashonro kardand. Amaliyot guzarondand, chi tavre ki dar filmho nishon medihand. Amaliyot! Nakunad, uro zakhmi karda boshand?

In fikr tamomi quvvatamro bargardond. Barqvor az moshin furomada, davida az bayni dustonu hamkoron guzashta, ba khona daromadam. Abdulhakim az khona baromada bo figon khudashro ba gardanam andokht. Ogush giriftam va zud az khud dur karda, dar andomash osori khunro justam. Osore nabud.

Sui Ismoil bargashtam:

• Kujoyand milisaho? U ba dari utoq ishora kard. Hudro ba dast girifta, ba utoq daromadam. Du nafar sari dastarkhon nishasta budand. Salom karda nishastam.
• Az kujo ovarded? Ki ozod kard, KGB? – savol dodam ba milisaho.
• Ne, az haftum kilometr, az post, – guft yake az milisaho taajjubomez.
• Amaliyot chi shud, charo khudashon naovardand? – namefah- midam man. Qiyofaam mantiqi nabud magar, ki yake az milisaho, «Hayr, mo meravem» gufta, az joyash khest. Ba onho shodiyona doda, to dami dar gusel karda, ba utoqi kunjaki nazdi Abdulhakim daromadam. Vaqte ki darro kushodam, u sarashro kham karda ruyashro ba devor gardond.
• Ki turo ozod kard? – pursidam man.

Sadoi maro shunida, sarashro hamon tur kham ba sui man gardond va yakbora barkhesta, khudashro ba ogusham partoft va:

• Maro az in jo bar, hamin hozir bar! Raftem, raftem! – gufta, bo sadoi ashkoludu tarsu hayajon maro sui dar tela medod.
• Maylash, maylash, meravem. Kujo mekhohi baram? – telba shudam man.
• Kujoe bari, bar! Faqat az in jo bar! – sakht tars dosht u.

Bale, boyad ravem, peshi padaru modar, ba Panjrud meravem, qaror kardam ba khudam.

Ba dahlez baromadam va:

• Meravem! – guftam. Hama ba berun baromadem. Az khona, ki baromadem, Abdulhakim az dastam sakht doshta, duqat shuda sarashro kham karda meraft. YAkbora khun ba saram zad. Bachchai bechora, ki in hama ruz bandi bud, hanuz ham bo on odatu tars harakat mekard. Ogush karda:
• Natars, digar hech kas ba tu oseb rasonda nametavonad. Tu ozodi! – guftam.

U boz ham:

• Raftem, raftem! – gufta az dastam mekashid.

Peshi moshin rasida budem, ki darrav ba nishastgohi aqibi moshin daromada, dari daromadaashro qufl karda sarashro kham karda nishast. Hoharam ham ba moshin nazdi u nishast.

• Bachchaho, Ismoil, Zokir az pasi man hay kuned, hama savor shavand, – farmon doda, ba moshin nishastam va hay kardam.

To az shahr baromadan Abdulhakim ba savolho javob na- medod. Faqat:

• Zudtar, zudtar hay kun, – meguft.

Vaqte ki ba darai Varzob daromadem, u qadre oromish paydo kard. Va ba savolho javob dodan sar kard.

• Ki turo ozod kard? – hech nametavonistam in muammoro hal kunam.
• Man gurekhtam! – javob dod u.

Man lol shudam. Az u man in qahramoniro hargiz intizor nadoshtam. U, ki barodari khurdii man bud, hanuz ham dar na- zari man tifl metoft. Pay naburda budam, ki u javonmardi komil shudaast!

Va sar kard ba hikoyat kardan. Hikoyathoyash pahnu pareshon va benazm budand. Joyhoi noqisashro man savol doda, daqiq mekardam.

Az naqlash barmeomad, ki uro se nafar az moshin berun kashida, bo dastai tufang ba sarash zada, ba nishastgohi aqibi moshin tiqqonda, ba boloyash nishasta, bo surat rondaand. Bad az muddate dar havlie istoda, ba sarash lattaero pechonda, az moshin farovarda, ba yak khona darovarda, az dastash ba lulai ohani bo dastband basta mondaand. Ruzi digar boz ba hamon minvol ba moshin bor karda, rohi duru darozero tay karda, ba joe rasonda, ba yak guruhi digar supurdaand. Bayni khudashon suhbat mekardaand, ki guyo uro ba SHahrtus mebarand. Guruhi nav boz bo hamin minvol muddati daroz moshin ronda, ba yak joe ovarda, dar yak sokhtmoni pampi ob darovarda, az poyash bo zanjiri yak-yakunimmetra ba ohani dar devor nasbshuda basta mondaand. Ruze se bor daromada, khabar megiriftaand va khurok medodaand. Pesh az daromadan darro zada, farmon medodaand to rubolo khobida, chashmonashro basta, sarashro ba sui devor gar- donad. Sababhoi harakoti gayriodii u dar havli ba man oshkor meshud. Pas az baromadan sado doda, kushodani chashmonashro ijozat medodaand. Faqat shabona, on ham bo chashmoni basta, sarashro kham karda, baroi qazoi hojat ba berun mebarovardaand.

Ruzi duvum yak nafar daromada, lat kardaast, ki akaat khap nameshinad, takudav dorad, ba maqomot arz kardavu koftukov mekunad. On ruz on nafar dar borai koru bori shirkati mo savolhoi ziyod dodaast. Ba gufti Abdulhakim, u khudash dar borai koru bori mo ogohii komil doshtaast, faqat baroi mutmain shudan savolho medodaast, zero «Dar on nohiya bo ki kor meku- ned?», «Az on khojagi chi qadr pakhta megired?» va gayra gufta mepursidaast.

Vale takror ba takror ba u meguftaand, ki ba zudi akaat turo khalos mekunad. Hatto shukhi mekardaand, ki az khurdani harchi khohi, barot meorem, pulasha akat medihad. Hatto, vaqte u kitob khostaast, baroyash kitobi «Goryachiy sneg»-i YUriy Bon- darevro ovardaand.

Ruzi sevum boz ham on nafar daromada, badi savolu javobi avvali pursidaast, ki «namoz mekhoni?» Vaqte Abdulhakim guf- taast, ki namoz namekhonad, yak zarbai sakhte ba shonaash zadaast, ki meguft dardashro hanuz ham his mekunad. Va guftaast, ki boyad namozkhoniro sar kunad. Abdulhakim ba u javob dodaast, ki namozkhoni boyad bo etiqod surat girad, na bo dastur. Av- val boyad khudoro shinokht, bad ba u sajda kard. Agar khudovand binad, ki man zeri fishor ba namozkhoni shuru kardam, shoyad ibodati maro qabul nakunad. Man on vaqt namoz mekhonam, ki khudam etiqod kunam.

Nauzanbilloh! Duzdu goratgar targibkunandai dinu imon!

Abdulhakim naql kard, pas az on, ki kame orom giriftam, ba fikr aftodam. Fikr kardam, ki chi kor kunam. Harfashonro gush kunam, muntazir shavam, ozodam mekunand. Fikr mekardam, ki Abdukhalil ba amniyat murojiat kardaast, maro ozod karda metavonista boshad? Agar man ham ba joi u budam, ba maqomot arz mekardam. YAkbora fikre ba saram zad, ki agar u ba joi man bud, chi kor mekard? U orom namenishast. Bale, kore mekard. CHi kor mekard?

Dast ba sui zanjiri poy burdam, didam, ki kame kushod bud, say kardam, berun naomad. Rui kosai khomshurbo ravgan yakh basta bud. Onro girifta poyro charb kardam, zanjir poyamro kharoshida baromad. Az joy khesta, saroyro az nazar guzarondam. Devori semetri dar qismi boloyash qablan ravzanhoe doshtaast, ki holo bo loy basta shuda bud. Dar gushae yak tuda chigiti pakhta mekhobid. Takhti ohanii shikastae dar zamin bud. Onro ba devor rost karda, baromada didam, ki on loy khushk va sakht ast. Ob! Onro bo ob tar karda, narm kardan lozim. Ob nest!

Furomada, takhtro joi khudash guzoshta, bandro ba poyam da- rovarda, muntazir shudam. Vaqte nigahbon omad va pursid, ki chi mekhoham, khomshurbo va obi yakunimlitra khohish kardam va baroi shubha ejod nakardan kitob ham pursidam. «In qadar khomshurbo dust medori?» guftu rafta ovard. Man digar ham ob doshtamu ham charb.

SHabho kor mekardam. Poyamro charb karda, zanjirro meba- rovardamu bolo rafta, obro ba loy merekhtam, muloim meshud, mekandam. Loyhoi kandaamro ba varaqhoi kitob pechonda ba kisaam meandokhtam va vaqte ki poyon meomadam, onhoro dar zeri tudai chigit pinhon mekardam.

Ohista-ohista kor mekardam, to sadoe nabaroram. Az loy porae durust karda budam va har vaqt ki poyon meomadam, joi kandaamro bo on pora noayon karda pushida memondam. CHarog dar daromadgoh bud va ravzanae, ki man baroi kandan intikhob kar- dam, dar on qismati devor bud, ki charog onro khub ravshan name- kard. SHabi chorum kame darz paydo shud, ki rushanii charoghoi berun metoft. Fahmidam, ki agar ehtiyot nakunam va yak kame fishor biyoram, aftidani yak kulukh metavonad naqshahoyamro oshkor kunad, zero shabonaruzi dar atrofi saroy nigahbon megasht va man hamesha sharfai poyashro meshunidam.

SHabi chorum baromada, ohista yak tarafi kulukhro kanda bu- dam, ki boqiyash yakbora kanda shud. Bo yak harakati dast kulukhi aftidaistodaro doshtam va nigoh kardam, ki nigohbon kame durtar pusht ba man istodaast. Nafaskashiro qat kardam. Be- sado saru dastro darun kashidam. SHakh shudam, intizor shudam, sharfai poi nigahbon orom-orom dur shud, ba sui digar guzasht. Ravzanaro khele ehtiyotkorona pushida monda, faromadam. Kori ravzana tamom shud, imshab der ast, khudo khohad, pagoh megurezam.

Abdulhakim guft, ruzi panjum boz hamon nafar, ki doim latu kub mekard, omada az khudovu rasul va on dunyo amri ma- ruf kardaast. Vaqte ki onho ba nazdi man medaromadand, ba man farmon medodand, ki chashmonamro basta rubolo bikhobam. Onho aslihai khudro dar rui badani man meguzoshtand va bo man suhbat mekardand. SHoyad ozmudan mekhostand, ki man kushishi giriftan va istifodai silohro mekunam yo ne. On ruz du nafar daromada budand va hamon nafare, ki doim pursupos mekard, tufangashro rui shikami man monda bud. Vaqti berun raf- tan onro nagirifta raft. Man tufangro his mekardam. Vaqte onho darro mebastand, man fikr mekardam, ki oyo onho makhsus tufangro guzoshtand, yo faromush kardand? Tufang tir dorad yo na? Maro mesanjand? Agar tufang tir doshta boshad, imkoni bo istifodai on khalos shudani man chi qadr ast? Naqshai az ravzana gurekhtan behtar ast yo bo istifoda az tufang? In hama dar yak lahza az dilam guzasht.

Man, – guft Abdulhakim – zud tasmim giriftam, ki bo tirparroni az dasti inho khalos shudan imkon nadorad. Inho chandin nafarand, hama musallah bo Kalashnikov. Man bo yak tufang shons nadoram. Hamon naqshai ravzana khub ast. Va sado dodam: «Aka, pistoletata faromush kardi!» U darro hanuz na- basta bud, davida bargasht va «Tu khele bachchai khubi» gufta, maro tarif kard va az khursandi hatto «Namoz nakhoni ham, hech gap nest», gufta fatvo dod. Tufangashro girifta, pursid, ki pagoh baroyam chi biyorad? Man ba u guftam, ki monda shudaam va kho- bidan mekhoham. Pagoh agar mumkin boshad, dertar biyoyad. U az man onchunon rozi bud, ki ijozat dod bikhobam, pagoh subhi zud maro bedor namekunand. Man ba firor omoda budam.

SHahrtus. To Dushanbe qarib dusad kilometr roh ast, to kujo megurezam? Dastgir mekunand. Milisakhona ravam? Magar zuri milisa ba inho merasad? Tavakkal ba khudo! Az in jo, ki baromadam, bad davomashro mebinam.

Dishab, vaqte torik shud, az pirohanam du porcha darronda, kafshhoi sarpoiyamro, ki baroi davidan muvofiq nabudand, ba poyhoyam bastam. CHand pora nonro ba kisaam joy kardam. Ohista baromada, loyporaro girifta farovarda, ba zamin guzoshtam, baromada az ravzana ba berun nigoh kardam, kase nabud. Balan- dii devor taqriban se metr bud. Agar az in balandi khudamro partoyam, hatman sadoi aftidanamro shunidani nigahbon mum- kin bud va gayr az in, poyhoyam metavonistand oseb binand.

Az ravzana boyad yo bo sar berun mekhazidam yo bo poy. Fikr kardam, ki hatman bo sar boyad berun khazam, to ki atrofro zeri nazorat doshta bosham. Bo ohani dastai takht yak halqai zanjirro tob doda, kushoda tayyor karda budam. Ohani dastai takhtro dar dokhili ravzana ustuvor karda, zanjirro ba on basta, az ravzana berun ovezon kardam va bo sar berun khazida, az zanjir doshta, poyhoyamro az ravzana berun kashida, ovezon shudam va khudamro ohista ba zamin partoftam. Nimkhez ba daruni alafho daro- madam va duqat shuda, besado az on jo dur shudam. To durtar meraftam, surat meafzudam. Davidaravon, yakbora ba rohi moshin baromadam. Fikr nakarda, ba tarafi rost davidam, vale bad az lahzae didam, ki roh bolo meravad. Man boyad ba poyon ravam, na ba bolo, fikr mekardam man, vale hanuz ham medavidam. In vaqt nishoni rohnamoero didam, ki CHirtak na- vishta shuda bud. Aslan namefahmidam, ki dar kujostam. CHirtak nomero namedonistam. Vale, bargashta az kanori roh ba poyon davidam. Davida-davida, ba nishonai digari roh rasidam, ki Kofarnihon navishta shuda bud.

Man dar SHahrtus nabudam! Dar Orjonikidzeobod budam!

Aknun, fahmidam, ki dar kujoyam. Boyad hamagi 18-20 kilo- metrro tay mekardam, to ba Dushanbe rasam. SHab az nim guzash- ta bud. Hamagi 4-5 soat vaqt doshtam. Bad, gurekhtanam oshkor meshud. Albatta, onho paygiri mekunand!

Davidam. Hama imkoniyatro barrasi mekardam. Dar sari puli Kofarnihon posgohi milisa bud. Bo rohi moshin naboyad raft. Dastgir mekunand. Bargashta, bo sohili daryo ba poyon da- vidam va ba puli rohi ohan rasida, az rui on guzashtam. Qaror kardam, ki ru-rui rohi ohan ravam, bekhatar ast. Rohi moshin khatarnoktar ast. Az rui chubhoi rohi ohan davidan dushvor bud. Az kanori roh medavidam, vale kanori roh pur az kulmakho bud, ki har lahza ba onho megutidam. Saghoi mardum az pasi devorhoi simturi ba man hamla mekardand. Man ba onho non partofta orom mekardam. Bazeyash khele khashmin budand, khush- bakhtona, turi simin onhoro nigoh medosht.

To daromadgohi Dushanbe rasam, khonai kheshamon – akai Abdusalim daromada pinhon meshavam. Lattahoi kafshhoyam kanda shudand. Kafshhoro ba dastam giriftam. Poyhoyam khunshor shudand, vale dardro ehsos namekardam. Medavidam.

Ba dari khonai Abdusalim rasida, ohista taq-taq kardam. Az baland kuftani dar metarsidam, umuman az har sadoe yakqad meparidam, fikr mekardam, ki maro taqib mekunand. Pushti dar sadoi khish-khishro shunida, ovoz dodam:

– Akoi Abdusalim, man Abdulhakim, az dasti boevikho gu- rekhtam, zudtar darro kushoed, maro panah kuned.

Sadoi pasti suhbat az pasi dar shunida meshud, du nafar bahs mekardand, shoyad ba khulosae omadand, ki ba man panoh dodan ba joni khudashon khatar meorad. CHand bori digar sado doda bosham ham, digar dar on sui dar khomushi hukmfarmo shud. Dari hamsoyai rubaruro kuftam, sadoe naomad. Lahzae noumed nishastam. Man injo ziyod vaqt talaf karda nametavonistam. Har lahza taqibgaron metavonistand birasand. Medavam, to havli, – qaror kardam ba khudam.

Subhi kozib bud. Ba kilometri haftumi rohi Dushanbe- Vahdat rasidam. Devor peshi rohamro girift. Nochor ba rohi moshin baromadam. Az dur didam, ki du milisa dar posgoh is- todaand. Az kanori roh kham shuda meraftam, ki chashmi onhoro khato kunam. YAkesh ba sui man gasht. Hudamro ba juybori kanori roh partofta, rust shudam, vale u maro dida budaast, ki ba boloi saram omada, «barkhez» guft. Hestam, «az kujo omadi?

YAgon joro duzdi kardi?» gufta pursid. «Man az dasti boevikho gurekhtam, hozir meoyand» guyam, bovar nakarda, «safsatta naguy, rostasha guy, kampirro tu kushti?» gufta isror mekard. Va «pesh daro, hozir turo burda mesuporem, hamaash malum me- shavad» gufta, bo mili avtomati hamoil dar gardanash ba man amr karda, peshi hamrahash ovard. Hamrahash «kiro qapidi?» gufta pursid va badi «duzdak» guftani u, sar to poi maro az nazar guzaronida «e, man inro meshinosam, akaasha ham meshi- nosam, – va sui man: – gufta, pursid. Man hodisaro kutoh guftam. Ba hamrahash:

Tu in cho chi kor mekuni ? saru ruyat puri khoku khun

• Man inhoro meshinosam, inho duzd nestand, – guft.
• Raftem, khonaashon mebarem, soati kori ham tamom shud, – gufta sui moshinash raft. Man zud ba nishastgohi aqibi moshi- nash daromada nishastam. Moshinash giron nashud. Hohish kard, ki furomada onro, hamrohi milisai duvum tela diham. Man furomadan namekhostam. Fazoi basta baroyam amntar menamud. Vale u tahdid kard, ki agar yori nadiham, hech joy nameravem. Man zud furomada, yori kardam, moshinro dukasa tela dodem dargirift va onho manro ba khona ovardand.

Manu nazdikon dar on shash ruz azobi mahsharro dar pusti khud his kardem. Hususan, khohari buzurgam az jihati ravoni sa- damai sakht did. Man az sababi on ki ba koftukov mashgul budam, fikram doim mashgul bud, vale u dar khona shash ruz intizori kashid, intizorie, ki malum nest ba chi meanjomad. Hamin ast, ki hanuz ham az kamtarin ittifoq ba tarsu iztirob meaftad. Ba nazdiki filmi korgardon Rodrigo Kortes «Zindabagur»-ro didam, ki tamomi dahshati on ruzhoro dar yodam zinda kard. In azobi toqatfarsoro khudovand ba hech kas nasib nagardonad!

Zimni in hama naql, goh khandidavu goh girista, ba khizmati padaru modari aziz rasidem. Onho, ki hanuz ham khavotiri meka- shidand, davida ba peshvoz baromadand va maro sihatu salomat dida, bovarashon nameomad va gashtavu bargashta mepursidand, ki oyo voqean sihatu salomatam va agar sihatu salomatam, charo in hama ovozavu darvoza dar dahoni mardum ast?

Man digar niyoze ba pinhon doshtani asli voqea nadida, ba onho asli holro gufta dodam. Darzamon, onho huzuri maro faromush karda, ba Abdulhakim chaspidand, ki muddaoi dili man bud, zero ba tanhoi va osudagi niyoz doshtam.

Bo Jon tamos girifta, Abdulhakimro, ki hatto dar in jo khele iztirob dosht, bo bahonai khondan dar maktabi pakhtai Memfis (Cotton School) ba Amriko firistodam. Ahli oilaro ba Panjrud ba nazdi padaru modar, durtar az balo firistoda, bo milisa qarordod basta, Ismoilro hamchun jondor musallah kardam, khudam niz rasman ijozai siloh gardondan girifta, ba nave ba hamlahoi badi omodagi giriftam.