Donish talabu buzurgi omuz: qissa baroi insho

QABUL SHUDAN BA DONISHGOH

Coli okhiri maktab man qaror kardam, ki baroi khon- dan ba fakultai sharqshinosii Donishgohi davlatii Tojikiston dar shahri Dushanbe khoham raft. CHun shavqam ba sohai zabonu adabiyot beshtar bud va dar in fakulta zabonhoi khoriji omukhta meshudand, behtarin guzina baroyam hamin fa- kulta menamud. Man dar dilam orzui diplomat shudan doshtam va ba andeshai man, donistani zaboni khoriji in imkonro ba man medod, ki ba orzuyam birasam. Sababi digari in shubai donishgohro intikhob kardanam gururi bachchagiyam niz bud. On solho in shubai donishgoh khele shuhrat dosht va dovtalaboni ziyod ba on hujjat mesupurdand, ki ba yak joy 10-15 nafar rost meomad. Man, ki tasavvuram dar borai donishi khudam khele beshtar az asl bud, mekhostam dushvortarin qullaro fath kunam.

Soli 1983 maktabi miyonaro khatm kardam va baroi dokhil shudan ba Donishgoh ba Dushanbe omadam, vale az imtihoni avvalin, ki insho bud, bahoi «du» giriftam. Hudam vaqte ki inshoro menavishtam, donistam, ki bahoi qanoatbakhsh nakhoham girift, zero mavzuro khub namedonistam. Digar az on gururi bejo chize namond.

CHun man zamoni tahsil dar maktab talabai avval va peshsaf budam va ba fikri khudam, az digaron beshtar imkoni donishju shudan doshtam, ham etimodam ba khudam az had bolo bud va ham digaron maro bisyor qobil meshumurdand, qabul nashudanam ba Donishgoh ba man khele tasir kard.

Vale chize ki maro beshtar aziyat medod, on bud, ki fikr mekardam bovari padaramro ba khudam az dast dodam, harchand padaram ba man aslan hech chiz nagufta budand.

Az Dushanbe bargashtamu dar korkhonae, ki padaram kor me- kardand, ba kor daromadam. On solho padaram raisi yak bakhshi korkhonai zaminshinosi voqe dar dehai Zavron budand. Va on yak sole, ki dar Zavron kor kardam, kulli kitobhoi darsii lozimaro gashtayu bargashta khondam.

Vaqte ki tobistoni digar baroi hujjatsupori ba Dushanbe omadam, padaram az tagoyam khohish kardand, maro rohnamoi kunand, to man imsol hatman ba Donishgoh dokhil shavam. Vaqte ba Dushanbe omadem, tagoyam bo kheshi digaramon Sultonmurod, ki ustodi donishgoh budand, mashvarat kardandu ba man tavsiya dodand, ki ba fakultai sharqshinosi hujjat nasuporam, chun ba on fakulta qabul shudan bisyor dushvor bud, zero baroi har joy imsol hatto az solhoi peshin beshtar dovtalabon hujjat suporida budand. Natijai soli guzashtaro dida, onho fikr mekardand, ki man omodagi va layoqati lozimaro baroi dokhil shudan ba on fakulta nadoram. In ham maro bisyor norohat me- sokht, zero harchand man isror kardam, ki mekhoham dar fakultai sharqshinosi, dar shubai zaboni forsi tahsil bikunam, onho hukm kardand, ki man boyad hujjathoyamro ba fakultai filo- logiyai tojik bisuporam.

Ozmuni fakultai filologiya khele kamtar, baroi har joy 4-5 nafar dovtalab dosht, va imkoni dokhilshavi ba on jo beshtar bud. Man, ki yak bachchai 17-sola budamu hanuz irodai ba kalonsolon gap guzarondan nadoshtam, nochor hukmi onhoro paziruftamu hujjathoyamro ba fakultai filologiyai tojik supurdam. Az in tasmim bisyor norohat budam va ba khudam guftam: ba fakultai filologiya bo bahoi baland dokhil khoham shud, to sobit bikunam, ki layoqati dokhil shudan ba fakultai sharqshinosiro ham doshtam, vale dar fakultai filologiya tahsil namekunam! Dar fakultai filologiya ba andeshai onvaqtai man muallimoni zabon va adabiyoti tojikro baroi maktab va donishgohho tayyor mekardand, ki man hech goh fikri muallim shudan nadoshtam, chun bovar doshtam, ki in kori man nest. Muallimi sabru tahammuli ziyod mekhohad, dar hole, ki man aslan on tahammulro nadoshtam. Dar muddati yaku- nim – du mohe, ki to imtihonho boqi monda bud, boz ham dar payi omodagi va mutolia shudam. Hamai kitobhoi darsiro, ki dar muddati yak sol khonda budam, bori digar takror kardam, ki muhtavoi onho komilan dar zehnam hifz shuda bud. Dusti ham- khonaam Sayfulloh kitobro boz mekardu sari mavzuero mekhond va man on mavzuro be kitob idoma medodam, albatta, muhtavoi mavzuro ba lafzi khudam bayon mekardam, vale namunahoi she- riro hifz karda budam.

Imtihonho sar shudand. Imtihoni yakum insho bud. Dovtala- bonro bo muqoisai shinosnomavu varaqai imtihonsupori, ruzi muayyan, dar sinfkhonaho menishondand va zeri nazorati yak yo du nafar ustodoni donishgoh inshoro az zehn va hofizai khud mena- vishtand. Istifoda az kitob yo manbahoi digar mamnu bud.

Vaqte ba sinfkhona daromadem, dar rui mizi ustod chand lifofa mekhobid. Ustod dovtalabero davat karda, khohish kar- dand, ki yak lifofaro intikhob kunad. Onro boz kardand va nomi mavzuhoi dar on budaro ba takhtai sinf navishtand. Se mavzu bud, ki har kas metavonist mavzui dilkhohashro intikhob kunad. Man dar mavzui osori ustod Rudaki insho navishtam. Pas az du-se ruz natijai imtihon malum meshud. Man az insho bahoi «chor» giriftam. On baroi man bahoi qonekunanda nabud, chun man azm doshtam, ki hamai imtihonhoro bo bahoi «alo» (5) bisuporam. Vale husni khatam, ki khub nabud, hads zadam, ki ehtimolan, ba hamin dalel ba man bahoi chor guzoshtaand, chun yake az meyorhoi baho dar kori khatti husni khat ham bud. Digar davo nakardamu ba hamin chor ham qanoat kardam. Imtihoni digar az adabiyot bud. Insho imtihoni zabon hisob meshavad va imtihoni duvum imtihoni adabiyoti badei bud. Varaqai imtihon va shinosnomaro nishon doda, ba sinfkhona daromadam. On jo chand tan dovtalabon nishasta budandu omodagi medidand va dar ru ba rui mizhoi dovtalabon chand miz guzoshta budand, ki pasi onho ustodon nishasta, imtihon megiriftand. Man ham biletro girifta, nishastam va savolhoro khondam va didam, ki baroyam hech dushvorie nadorand. Se savol bud. Javobhoyamro ba gunai tezis yo sarfasl yoddosht kardamu vaqte navbatam omad, dar ru ba rui muallimi imtihongir nishasta javob dodam. Vaqte javobi har se savolro guftam, ustod savoli ilovagii digare ham dod, javobi onro ham dodam. CHun barnomai maktabi miyonaro khub az khud karda budam, dar javob dodan ba savolho dushvori pesh naomad. Ustodi imtihongir az javobhoi man ba vajd omada, bo sadoi baland:

– Bahoi shumo panj! – guft. YAk nafar az ustodon bayni mizhoi imtihongiri megasht va rafti korro nazorat mekard. Man badan donistam, ki on kas ustod Sattorzoda budaand, ki hamon sol raisi komissiyai qabuli shubahoi zabon va adabiyo- ti donishgoh budaand. Ustod Sattorzoda ba ustodi imtihongir guftand:

– Ba yak savoli digar javob dihad, – man rozi.

Az in raddu badal va chun muallim bo sadoi baland elon kard, ki bahoi man panj ast, tavajjuhi digar ustodon ham aknun ba mizi mo jalb shuda bud. Ustod Sattorzoda khohish kardand, ki az Sayidoi Nasafi shere bikhonam. Hamzamon, ustode, ki dar mizi pahlui menishast, khondani shere az Badriddin Hiloliro khohish kard. Hardu hamzamon savol dodand. Ittifoqan, man mu- khammasi Sayidoro, ki ba gazali Hiloli basta bud, az yod karda budam. Fahmidam, ki in omadi kor ast. Dar posukh ba hardu savol, man hamon mukhammasro bo sadoi balandu burro khondam:

Niqob az rukh barafkandi, namudi rui zeboro, Zi gayrat dog kardi dar chaman gulhoi ranoro, Ba dil doram mani shuridakhotir in tamannoro, «Ba chashmi lutf agar bini giriftoroni shaydoro, Ba mo ham gushai chashme, ki rasvo kardai moro!»…

Ustodon fahmidand, ki man bo yak tir du nishon zadam, yane yakbora ba hardu savol javob dodam, kaf zadandu tahsin guftand. Ustod Sattorzoda ba muallimi man ishorai qanoat kardand. Ustodi imtihongir ham bo iftikhor az on, ki man sari uro kham nakardam, bahoi «alo»-ro guzoshtu bargai imtihonro ba man dod. Man berun omadam va ba hama hamsinfonu dustone, ki baroi dastgirii man omada budand, bo iftikhor varaqaro nishon dodam! Odamoni ziyode, ki muntaziri berun omadani nazdikonashon istoda budand, varaqai imtihoni manu shodii maro dida, ba hamdigar meguftand, ki «panj giriftaast!» Ba man holati hayajonu iftikhori ajibe dast doda bud.

Imtihoni okhiri mo az zaboni khoriji bud. Man dar mak- tab zaboni olmoni khonda budam. Vaqte ruzi imtihoni zaboni

khoriji ba sinfkhona vorid shudam, kase az dovtalabon nabud. Aksari bachchaho dar maktab zaboni inglisi khonda budand va dar

imtihongir – yak zan va yak mard nishasta budand. Man bilet giriftamu nishastam. Muallima, ki bekor nishasta budand, nazdam omada, pursidand:

– Savolhoro fahmided?

Man savolhoro khondamu tarjuma kardam va ustod tahsin kardand. Rostash, on savolho khele soda bud va hatto baroi man, ki dar zaboni olmoni donishi ziyode nadoshtam, dushvor nabud. Olmoniro dar haddi savolu javobi muqaddamoti medonistam, chand sher ham az rui kitobi darsii maktabi miyona hifz karda budamu to ba hol qisman dar yod doram. Vaqte omada nishasta- mu ba savolhoi bilet javob dodam, chand savoli osoni digar az qabili «Nomat chist?» «CHandsolai?» va gayra ham dodand, ki ba osoni javob guftam. On goh varaqai imtihonhoi maro didand, ki bahohoi «khub» va «alo» giriftaam. In ustodon ham ba man bahoi «panj» guzoshtand! Albatta, bahohoi balandi imtihonhoi qabli muassir budand. Hamin tavr, man yak «chor» va du «panj» girifta budam va balli attestat yo miyongini on 4,8 bud, ki dar jam 18,8 bal meshud. Az bayni dovtalaboni fakultai filologiyai tojik man avval budam. Aknun on qasde, ki doshtam, barovarda shud, man sobit kardam, ki metavonam donishju bosham. Bo in bahoho man metavonistam ba fakultai sharqshinosi ham dokhil shavam.

Bad az imtihonho ruzero baroi elomi natijaho tayin mekardand va dar huzuri dovtalabonu nazdikoni onho, rektor, dekani fakultaho va digar masulon, natijai imtihonot va qabul shudanu nashudani dovtalabonro elon mekardand. Dov- talabon va nazdikoni onhoe, ki qabul nashuda budand, metavonis- tand hamon jo bo natijaho shinos shavand va ba savolhoyashon javob girand.

Man hamrohi dustonam Sayfullo va Voiz ba jalasai eloni natija raftem. Tolore, ki nishastem, purodam bud – dovtala- bon aksar bo padaru modar, kheshu tabor, dustonu hamsinfon jam omada budand. Jalasa ogoz shud. Rektor sukhanroni karda, dar borai miqdori dovtalabon, jarayoni imtihonhoi qabul va natijai onho malumot dod. Man aslan gush namekardam va bo dustonam sargarmi suhbat budam. Tolor ham purodam va pursado bud. Ovozi rektor pasttar bud va mo, ki durtar nishasta budem, man nashunida mondam, ki nomi maro megiriftaand. Duston ba man guftand va man az joyam barkhostam. Rektor ba hoziron elon kardand, ki man az imtihonhoi qabul bolotarin balli umumiro ba dast ovardaam. Ahli tolor kafkubi kardand. Bori duvum bud, ki ba man kafkubi mekardand. Voqean in piruzi bud! Man hayajonzada meistodam, ki rektor afzudand:

• Mo metavonem shumoro ba fakultai sharqshinosi guzaro- nem, oyo rozi hasted? Man dar holi hayajon va chun qablan qahr karda budam, khitob kardam:
• Ne!

Namedonam, shoyad rektor in posukhi maro nashunidand yo shoyad fikr kardand, man savolashonro durust nafahmidam, ki dubora savolro takror kardand. In du hamsinfam az du tarafi domoni man kashida, maro tashviq mekardand:

• Rozi shav, rozi shav, tu, ki sharqshinosi mekhosti! Turo mekhohand hamon jo guzaronand, rozi shav!

Bakhti man khandida bud, va faqat vaqte khandid, ki man ta- momi sayu kushishro ba kharj dodam. Behuda naguftaast, ki «Az tu harakat, az man barakat». In maniro shoir Parvini Etisomi niz khele mujaz bayon kardaast:

…Hijobi zaf chu az ham gusast, azm qavist.

Man ham sar takon dodamu elomi rizoyat kardam. Hamin tavr, taqdir orzui maro qisman amali kard. Ba joi guruhi zaboni forsi man donishjui guruhi zaboni urdui fakultai sharqshinosi shudam, dar hole, ki aslan namedonistam, zaboni urdu chi zabonestu dar kujo ba on harf mezanand.