Комрон.инфо
Bahori soli 1992, ki in qadar betoqatona intizorash budem, faro rasid. Vale – dareg! – ki on naku naomad. Dar in bahor khuni chandin nafar begunohon rekht. Bar ilova, jurnalisti boistedod va navisanda Rahmat Zaydulloro ham az qatori mo rabud in bahor. Baso barmahal, dar qiyomi orzuyu niyathoi nek rabud. U ba qavle jurnalisti hamakora bud. Vale hama korash pukhta. Vay kase bud, ki az didanash odam shod megasht, guftoru raftorash ba dil tukhmi neki, odamu odamgari mekosht. Borho shunidaam, ki dar boraash meguyand:
– Javoni bekina, ba kase ozorash namerasad.
– YAk dona maviz yobad hamrohi dustonash mekhurad.
– Daryodiliash andoza nadorad.
YAk moh qabl az margash ba utoqi koriash rafta budam. Serkor bud.
– Ana, – guft u shodona, – hamai maktubhoro judo kardam. Papkai hikoya, sher, chiston kushodam. Aknun hamaashro khonda mebaroyam. Meshudagiashro ba chop tayyor mekunam, ba mondagi javob menavisam. Okhir bechora muallifhoyashon intizor, chashmi chor.
– Bisyor kori khayru savob meshavad, – shod shuda guftam, zero mazai chunin intizoriro man bisyor chashidaam.
Sipas vay dar borai boksyorho gap ogoz namud. Bo shavqu zavq naql menamud. Bad ba man ru ovard:
– Gush kun. YAk hikoya navis. Dar borai boksyor. Baroi «Mashal».
Aknun fahmidam, ki vay baroi chi dar borai boksyorho gap kushodaast.
– Man? Hikoya navisam?
– Ha, hikoya dar borai boksyor.
– Ne, az dastam nameoyad, – rad kardam man.
– Sarosema nashav, yak ozmuda bin-ku. Man bovari doram, ki metavoni.
Sad afsus, ki in yagona khohishi u bud, ki dar zindagiash ijro karda natavonistam. On ruz ba gushai khayol ham ovarda nametavonistam, ki digar hej goh uro namebinam…
12 marti soli 1974, hamon ruze ki bori avval bo Rahmat Zaydullo vokhurdam, u ba neyu nestoni man etibor nadoda to istgoh guselonid. Dar istgoh nogoh ba yodam shahodatnomai mukhbiri, ki bo tashabusi u ba man doda budand, rasidu onro az kisa barovarda guftam:
– O, inro shustan lozim! CHi gufted?
– Meshuem, – khushholona guft u, – hatman meshuem. Lekin bo usuli man, ki on az du bakhsh iborat ast.
– In chi khel usul? Du bakhshash chi?
– Usuli man, in yane be araq. Bakhshi avval: tez-tez ba redaksiya meoi. Bakhshi duyum: bo dasti pur, yane ki maqolayu lavhayu ocherk. Meshavad?
– CHaro nashavad? Meshavad!
Borho dar tanash kurtai oddii obshusta didaam. Daryoftam: dar zeri in kurtai obshusta dile metapad sofu begubor. Dile metapad insondustu dardoshno. Dile metapad ori az kinu garaz. Dile metapad banomusu nang. Dile metapad sarshori marifat, sadoqatu etiqod. Vaqthoi forig az kor nazdi u meraftam. Aniqtarash meshitobidam. Vay kamgap bud va behuda sukhane namezad. Odati ajibe dosht. Agar bo dasti kholi meraftam, darhol pasi miz meshinond, ba dastam qalamu qogaz medod va dar borai yagon chiz naql karda, dalelu raqamhoro ham medodu meguft:
– Fahmo?
Javobi «ha»- ro shunida ilova menamud:
– Ana aknun khudi hozir yakta maqola navishta medihiyu jonat khalos.
Va sarkashi foida nadosht. To maqolaro namegirift jonam khalosi nameyoft.
Hamon ruze, ki dustonash uro bo hillayu nayrang ba hushyorkhona kashidand, u az navbatdor iltimos kard:
– Ijozat dihed, ba khona zang zanam, to zavjaamu farzandonam khavotir nashavand.
– Ba tu mumkin ne. Tu bangi. Ha- ha- ha!
– Hayr khudaton zang zada gued, – boz iltimos kard u.
– CHi-i?! Gapa binedu…
Navbatchi khandid. Qoh- qoh khandid. Va tuf karda raft. Rahmatullo ziq shud. CHunon ziq shud, ki qarib dilash bikafad. Boz navbatchiro jeg zad. Navbatchi bo karru far yakta-yakta qadam monda omad.
– YAgon kitob doshta boshed, dihed khonda shinam, – iltimos kard u az milisa.
– In jo kitobkhona ne, hushyorkhona, – guft milisa.
Va u boz khandid, khandidu tuf karda raft. Va pas az chand ruz dar majlisi hizbii ruznomai «Kommuna» taqdiri Rahmat Zaydulloro hamagi yak ovoz hal kard. In ovoz, ovozi ronandai redaksiya bud…
Gumon dosht, ki gorkom muyro az khamir judo mekunad. Hato kard. Va u ba muboriza barkhost. Va dar in muboriza dastbolo shud. Vale in galaba ba u garon omad. Ba kasalii diqqi nafas giriftor gasht. Ba bemorkhona aftod. Boloi sukhta namakob, bo suzandoru uro ba kasalii zardparvin giriftor kardand. Tabobat mekardand, ahvolash beh nameshud. Nihoyat bemorkhona ba dilash zadu baromad. Ba qavli khudash kisahoyash apteka shuda megasht. Aknun bo in tani ranjur chi guna arobai ruzgorashro bikashad?! Ba Dushanbe omad. Dar ruzhoe omad, ki ruznomai «Payomi Dushanbe» tasis meshud. Va uro ba kor giriftand. Mariz bud, dard azobash medod, vale dar dushvortarin lahza niz az sari kor nameraft, kumaki begarazonai khudro dareg namedosht.
Masalhoi mansuri u chun ofaridahoi volo pisandi khonandagoni haqiqi budand. Vale torikdilone budand, ki az komyobihoi ejodii u gam mekhurdandu durug meboftand. Bore yak jurnalist guftash:
– Tu masalhoi klassikiro duzdida chop mekuni.
Dili u ba pustash rafta chaspid. Gazabash jush zad. Vale khudro ba dast girifta, oromona pursid:
– Hush, az kadom klassik va az kadom kitobash duzdidaam?
– Medonam.
– Doni ovarda nishon bideh, to bubinam.
– Maylash, – guft u. – Meoramu rasvogiata mebaroram.
Vale naovard. Digar bo Rahmat Zaydullo ru ba ru nameshud. Az u firor mekard.
YAk ruz manu u dar nazdi choykhonai «Rohat» suhbat mekardem, ki yak javoni ba man noshinos ba u guft:
– E, tu Krilov shudani-chi?!
CHehrai Rahmat Zaydullo Gamgin shud. Abruvonashro chin karda, labi poyonashro gazid. Ammo lahzae pas simoyash boz hamon subotkoriyu dilpuriro ifoda menamud. CHashmonash, chun hamesha mehrubon budand.
Mohi may. Ruzi shanbe. Havo foramu guvoro. Manu u suhbatkunon ba choykhonai «Rohat» meraftem. Nogoh u:
– Hushruy-a? – guft.
– Ki?
– Arus.
– Kani?
– Ho, ana.
Dar on tarafi roh arusu domod dar ihotai odamon sui qasri nikoh meraftand. Dar haqiqat arus zebo bud. Pas az chande dar ruznomai «Payomi Dushanbe» ocherkash bo nomi «Vaqte ki arus megiryad…» chop shud. Va man in satrhoro gashtavu bargashta khondam: «… amsoli boroni bahorist on girya. Ba zamin safo mebakhshadu husni atrofro husn zam menamoyad. … amsoli shabnami saharist on girya, ki boloi sabzahoi tar yak jiloi ba khud khos, yak shukuhi muhtashame mebakhshad. … amsoli chashmai musaffost, ki mardi tashnae az on ob nushida dar nihodi khesh qudrat va tavonoiro ehsos mekunad…»
Vay chi qadar orzu dosht, ki ashki arusii chor dukhtarashro bubinad. Vo dareg, ki in ba u muyassar nagasht.
Haftavori «Adabiyot va sanat» hikoyahoi hajvii uro bo suratash va peshguftori khele khub chop kard. Dar roh uro vokhurda tabrikash namudam va yak du sukhani khub guftani budam, ki khitob kard:
– Tarif nakun!
– In tarif ne, sukhani haq.
– Lozim ne.
– Baroi chi?
U posukh nadod.
– O, baroi chi?
– Nameforad.
Hardu pahlui ham qadam mezadem. Be sukhan. YAgon dah daqiqa roh paymuda ba bogi markazi rasidem. Ba yak gushai on rafta, ba kharake nishastem. Atrof orom va kame huznangez bud. Homushi. Tanho az jonibi khiyoboni Rudaki har zamon ovozi moshinho ba gush merasid. Man boz lab ba tarif kushoda budam, ki u guft:
– Gush kun, biguy, ki chi akhmaqie az man guzashtaast?
Az in guftor man lol mondam. Vay bo nigohi ajibe ba man nigarist va bad sarashro poin andokht. YAk zamon khomush mond. Sipas orom, misli in ki dar khob harf mezanad, guft:
– Ustod Rahim Jalil gufta budand, ki «Agar turo beasos tarif kunand, yaqin don, ki akhmaqie az tu darguzashtaast».
Va vaqte in harfro guft, bargashtu ba man nigarist va bilfosila afzud:
– Meguyand, ki gulomro bo “hoy borakalloh” kushtaand.
Boz u sarashro poin andokht.
– Rahmon Oston insoni khub, – nogoh guft u. – Agar on kas namebudand, in sahifa shoyad namebaromad.
U ba andesha raft. Bad ba man ru ovarda guft:
– Agar tu dusti man boshi va ba man neki khohi hamesha kushish namo, ki yagon khatoiyamro yofta dar ruyam guy.
– YAne, ki tanqid kunam? Boz khafa nashavi? O, tanqid shokolad ne, talkh.
– Doru ham talkh. Lekin agar khafa shavam, on goh rishtai dusti az man barkan.
Har du ba osmon chashm dukhtem. Ba rosti, az osmon chashm kanda nameshud. Kab-kabud, betag. Zebo bud osmon!
Nangu nomusi mardi, oriyati noni halol uro az har chi bolotar bud. Va sole duvozdah moh be ungur-pungur, nozu nuz, fandu fireb zahmati araqrez mekard. Bahoru tobiston, tiramohu zimiston maktab ba maktab, bogcha ba bogcha, korkhona ba korkhona, deha ba deha, nohiya ba nohiya, pushta ba pushtavu kuh ba kuh megasht. Ranjash ganj meovard – maqola, reportaj, lavha, ocherk, taronavu masalu hikoya, latifavu hajviya ruyi dasturkhoni manaviyoti khalq merekht. Ruznomae, mohnomae daryoft kardan mushkil ast, ki navishtai u nabaromada. CHand moh pai ham chand lavhayu ocherki Ziyoi Hojadodro khonda hayron shudam. Uslubi navisht uslubi Rahmat Zaydullo va dar dil meguftam, ki in navishtaho ba qalami u taaluq dorand. Ziyo Hojadodash ki boshad? Maro az chi boshad, ki in savol orom nameguzosht. Oqibat yak ruz az u pursidam:
– Ziyo Hojadod tu nesti?
– Ha, – hayron shud u. – CHi khel fahmidi?
– Az rui uslub.
U khandid. Talkh khandid. Sipas bo dard yak ohe kashidu guft:
– Duston tavsiya dodand, ki hamin tavr kunam. Bisyor chop mekuni, ba chashmi odamon mekhalad, guftand.
In guft va khomush mond, guyo intizori on bud, ki man chi meguyam. Man harfe nazadam.
On ruz boyad ba deha meraftam. Ba markazi nohiya omadam, ki shab faro rasid. Moshin nabud. Piyoda ba roh daromadam. Roham az nazdi binoi redaksiyai «Kommuna» meguzasht. Binam, ki tirezai utoqi Rahmat Zaydullo ravshan. Ba darun nigaristam. Vay pasi miz menishast. Qalam ba dast. Va neshi kilkash rui qogaz metokht. Ba nazdash daromadam.
– Marhamat dusti aziz! – guyon az joyash khest.
– CHaro qonunro vayron mekuni?! – jiddi guftam ba u.
– Kadom qonunro? – hayron shud u.
– Qonuni mehnatro. Muvofiqi on odam naboyad az hasht soat ziyod kor kunad. Pesh odamon baroi ruzi korii hashtsoata muboriza meburdand, khun merekhtand, tu boshi shabu ruz kor mekuni.
– Kasbi mo hamin, – guft u. – Bayni shabu ruz farq nameguzorem.
Ba chashmonash nigaristam. Manihoi amiqero mefahmam. Nigoham ba qogazhoi rui miz melagjad. Qogazho siyoh shudagi. Bovari doram, ki chizi khondanibobe menavisad. Az in ru vaqti uro giriftan az rui insof nabud. Ba u guftam:
– Barori kor!
Dar nazdi binoi Vazorati kishovarzi bo jurnalist Turdiali Boybobo ru ba ru omada ahvolpursi mekardem, ki Rahmat Zaydullo omad. Harob, rangash zafaron. Tabash nojur. Vale barobari moro didan bo tabassumi oshnovu mehrubon khushnudonayu samimona ahvolpursi namud.
– Rahmatullo, chi shud? – dilsuzona pursid Turdiali Boybobo.
Vay javob doda natavonist, ba joyash man posukh dodam:
– Gam, ako, gam.
– Gama ba dil roh nadeh, – bo yak dilsuzi va mehruboni guft Turdiali Boybobo. – Gam ba dil, ki roh yoft, fila az po meaftonad.
– CHi khel gam namekhuri. Tanho odami beor gam namekhurad.
Ore, u or dosht. Gam mekhurd. Gami digaron. «Odam boyad az gamu dardi digaron ogoh boshad» – hamin khel aqida dosht u.
– Har dard davo doradu har gam intiho.
Nure dar chashmoni darunkhamidaash durakhshid. Va bo tabassum guft:
– Hub… Hayr to bozdid!
25 yanvari soli 1992 bo jahlu gazab ba redaksiyai «Payomi Dushanbe» raftam. Sababi jahlu qahru gazabam on bud, ki yak ruz pesh 16 latifai bo khuni jigar navishtai maro chop karda dar zerash «Girdovaranda SH. Musoev» navishtaand. CHun voridi utoqi korii jonishini sarmuharriri ruznoma shudam, u bo chehrai kushodu istiqboli garm va sukhani khush maro az aspi jahlu qahru gazab furovard.
– Hej bovarii khodimi mo naomadaast, ki in latifahoi olijanobro shumo navishta boshed, – bo tabassum guft jonishin. – Gumon kardaast, ki latifahoi odamoni buzurgro gird ovardaed…
Dar rui hamin gap Rahmat Zaydullo daromad. Pas az ziyoratu pursupos u guft:
– Hondam, inho latifa nestand.
«Uh, khudo zad! – guftam dar dil. – Ba vay maqul nashudaand». Ba dilam gulgula aftod. «Inho latifa nestand». YAne, ki navishta nametavoni nanavis.
– Ha, ha, inho latifa nestand, – boz guft u. – Inho hajviyotand. Hajviyoti navzamon.
Va hamon ruz boz bisyor maslihathoi begarazonayu dustona dod. Hajviyoti navzamon! In ba man khele pisand omad. Pas az in hajviyahoyamro zeri hamin navishta ba chop medodam va mediham.
Avvali mohi fevrali soli 1992 ba mudiri shubai adabii mohnomai «Mashal» shoira Noriniso yak hajviya bo nomi «SHinosoi» burdam. Va dar hamin jo fahmidam, ki yakchand ruz pesh Rahmat Zaydullo ba in mohnoma ba kor guzashtaast.
– Akai Rahmatullo khonda binand, maqul kunand shud, – guft Noriniso. – Badtar khabar gired. Holo korashon az mui sar bisyor.
– Ne, ne, – guft Rahmatullo. – Hudi hozir mebinam.
Va hamai korhoyashro yak su monda hajviyaro did. Pas az yagon bist daqiqa:
– Ana shud, – gufta ba dasti Noriniso dod.
Ba on hajviya yak nigaristamu husham kand. Jumlai obod namonda bud. Sip-siyoh shuda bud. Ba nazaram chunin rasid, ki yak porcha zamini kishti maro az nav shudgor karda, kishta boshad.
Qalami Rahmat Zaydullo tez va dar khizmati khalq bud. Vale sad afsus, ki azobhoi kashidaash dar zamoni rukud be asar namond. Bale, uro yak idda mansabdoron azob dodand, khori dodand, oqibat bemorash namudand. Va in bemori uro az po uftond. Az miyoni mo uro rabud. Vale az dili mo hej goh kase uro rabuda nametavonad.
22 iyuli soli 1992
