OZIMI OYANDA (Maqola)

Bod mevazad.
Bodi tabdil ast on.
In bod bodi shurta nest.

In bod bodi shadid, bodi shikast, bodi gardish, bodi tagirothoi kullist. Onro bozdoshta nameshavad va ba muqobili on harakat kardan ham khatarnok ast. Bale, zamoni digargunihoi buzurg faro rasid.

Ruz shab meshavad, shab ruz, moh sol meshavadu sol qarn. Bo mururi vaqt kuhna khudro ba nav medihad. Va agar jihati muhimi ravandi imruzaro bo yak kalima ifoda kardani boshem, mujiztar kalimae ba juz navsozi nest.

Navsozi!

Mushkil?

Bale!

Ammo zindagi kardan shart. Tanho haminro faromush naboyad kard, ki  charkhi zindagi ba qafo namegardad, peshru meravad, peshru. Va naboyad gofil mond. Navsozi bozori iqtisodiro pesh ovard. Va baroi sokhtani in imorati buzurgu purshukuh Kumitai davlatii idorai amvoli davlatii Jumhurii Tojikiston tasis yoft.

Hishti avvalro ba in imorat ki guzosht? In khisht rost yo kaj? In baso muhim ast. Zero «khishti avval chun nihad memor kaj, to ba okhir meravad devor kaj». Dar Kumita firmai «Aziz»–ro (sobiq magozai «Gazvorho») nom burdand. Darhol guftugui chand ruz qabl rukhdoda ba yodam omad. Bo yak shinosam ba magozae vorid gashtem.

– Oho, khudi khorija barin–ku, – guftam ba u.

– In chi, – tabassum karda guft u. – Tu ba firmai «Aziz», sobiq magozai «Gazvorho» daro. Horiji haqiqiro on jo  mebini. Man ba u shubhaomez nazar afkandam. Zero man ba in magoza zamoni karakhti chand bor daromada budam. Toriku benur bud on. Dar rafho gazvorhoi ba kase  nolozim zeri chang khob mekardand.

Haridor qarib ki nabud. Furushandaho yo ganab mekardand yo pashsha kish meguftand. Ba gayr az «lavhai kharidor»–i kholi digar yagon elon ba nazar namerasid. Ba magoza vorid meshuded, yagon furushanda az joyash namekhest yo  aqqalan «SHumo–ki? CHi khizmat?” – guyon namepursid. Agar raftu narkhi yagon matoro mepursided furushanda ba gazab meomad. Va bo tundi meguft, ki «kuri namebini, navishtagi!» Dar Kumitai davlatii idorai amvol chize naguftand: «SHunidan kay buvad monandi didan». Hulosa, ba tarafi magoza roh giriftam.

Ana ba hamon magozai «Gazvorho» omadam. «Hamon magozai «Gazvorho» guftanam khato shud. Zero khoh bovar kuned, khoh ne farqi magozai hozira az magozai peshtara bemuboliga az zamin to osmon ast. Bino az berun libosi marmarin ba bar karda. Dari daromad qaror nadosht. Odamon – zanu mard, piru javon medaromadandu mebaromadand. Hej kas dasti kholi namebaromad. Onho khursand baromada, dar zeri lab kim–kadom ohangero zam–zama mekardand. Maydoni nazdi magoza obodu zebo. Gulzor guem durust meshavad. Nasimi halovatbakhshe   vazida gulhoro khamu rost mekard. Onho guyo «Hush omaded, boz biyoed!» – meguftand.

Dar magoza diqqati maro khususan yak chiz ba khud jalb kard, ki dar in jo hama chiz nav ast. Sokht–nav, oroish–nav, molho–nav va hatto muomila ham nav. Dukhtaraki zeboi safedpusti chashmkabud to labi purtabassum peshvoz girift.

– Hush omaded! Marhamat! Hizmat?

Man lahzae khudro gum karda mondam. Ajabo! Navsozi onhoro digar kardaast. Pesh onho dagali mekardand, khanda va hazlu shukhi namekardand. Aknun onho mehrubon, zindadil, bazlagu va zarif shudaand.

Vaqte ki mudiri magozaro pursidam, dukhtarak kame dastu po khurd va bo ovozi kame larzon guft, ki nestand.

– Nestand? – az noomadi kor khijil shudam.

Dar in vaqt sui mo marde omad va dukhtarak bezobita gasht. Goh ba man va goh ba on mard menigarist. Mard boshad tabassum menamud.

– Az aftash shumoro «sherbacha» gumon karda «ehtiyot nimi hayot»–ro sarmashqi kori khud qaror dodaast.

– Rost, – iqror shud dukhtarak, – tarsidam. Okhir, morgazida az bandi alo metarsad.

– CHi, ba magozai shumo ham «sherbacha»–ho tashrif meovarand?

Vay fursate khomushiro avlo medonad. Sipas bo giriftakhotiri meguyad, ki az  jonibi javonon goho korhoi noshoyam sodir meshavad, ki boisi tashvish ast. Tartiboti tabi dilro ba vujud naovarda inkishofi iqtisodiyot va  islohoti iqtisodiro tamin kardan gayri imkon ast. Tartib va rioyai qonun imruz chun obu havo zarur ast.

Rosti gap uro tamoman digar khel, yane yak javonmardi khomfarbehi purkibru gurur va havobaland, bo karu farri makhsus tasavvur mekardam. Okhir, kormandi savdo sarmoyador. Barobari ziyod shudani sarmoya odamon tagyir meyoband, inson budanashonro faromush mekunand. Sirati insoni va akhloqi hamidaro az dast medihand. Ammo vaqti vokhuri bo u az gumonhoi khud khijil shudam. Zero Azamqul Hotamov, rohbari firmai «Aziz» yak mardi purtamkin, halimu mehrubon va baso khoksor budaast. Dile doshtaast buzurg va  dardoshno. Vay mardest miyonqad va khurdjussa. CHashmoni bakhudjalbkunandai bachagonae dorad, ki ruyashro bisyor dilkash menamoyad. Sarosema nashuda, bo tamkin va oromona ba pursishhoi hamsuhbatash javob medihad. Hangomi suhbat az u tarovati donoiyu sohibaqli, khushmuomilagi va fazilati tabii huvaydo megasht. Pason fahmidam, ki khislathoi najibi in mard az behad dust doshtani kasbi intikhobkardaash, az darki jovidon budani neki huvaydoand.

– CHunon ki Maksim Gorkiy gufta bud, «Istedod az ehsosoti mehr ba kasbu kor ehyo meshavad». Man hamin gunna muhabbatro az padari korgaram meros giriftam, –  guft u.

Bale, padarash korgari oddi bud. Vale hamchun sarboni oila, tarbiyatgari farzandon namunai ibrat bud. Dar hama mavridho insofu andozaro nigoh medosht.

– Be in, – meguft u, – dunyoyo arzish nadorad.

Vay odami bad, khislati noravo va korhoi nosazoro namepisandid.

Vaqte ki odam ba kase yo chize mehr mebandad, in hissiyoti najib yak umr az dilash nameravad. Akai Azamqul ba kori savdo ana hamin tavr mehr bastaast. Az on ruze ki khudro meshinosad in mehr bo ust. Dar maktab alo mekhond. Makhsusan matematikavu adabiyotro dust  medosht. Ba qavli khudash baroi in du  fan memurd. Ruze dar mavzui «Ki shudan mekhoham» insho navishtand. Qarib aksariyati bachaho muallim va dukhtur shudan mekhostand. Tanho yak u savdogar. Bachaho khandidand, galogula bardoshtand. Muallimi adabiyot khele odami khub bud. Logarandomu balandqad. CHashmonash misli uqob kuchaktarin harakatro, hatto az mizhoi okhir medid. Vay sabab pursid.

– O, u alo mekhonad, – guft yake.

– SHeru hisobro chun ob medonad, – ilova namud digare.

Muallim dastashro bardosht. Sinf sokit shud. Vay guft:

– Bale, kormandi savdo boyad sheru hisobro chun ob bidonad. Zero u na tanho bo mol, balki bo odamon saru kor dorad.

Va hangome ki Azamqul nomai kamol giriftu ba tekhnikumi savdo dokhil shudani shud, gumon dosht, ki padarash peshai uro namepisandad. Va shoyad sarzanishu kohish khohad kard. Vale padar peshai uro pisandid va nasihatomez guft:

– Pisaram, ba moli dunyo dil naboyad bast, dil ba odam boyad bast va haloliro pesha kard. Ba yod  gir, ki yak gapi kajpahlu, yak ruyi tursh, yak  tabassumi zahromez bas ast, ki asabi odam kharob gardad.

Vay imruz khud padar – padar chi!? – bobost! – vale in harfhoi padar bo  ust!

– Solhoi tahsil, – meguyad u, – boisi bemori chand bor majbur budam, ki qarib tekhnikumro tark kunam. Bale padaram, ki qimmati odamro az nomusi balandi vay muayyan mekard, bori garoni zindagiro ba dushi khud girifta, maro talqin menamud, ki tahsilro davom diham. «Mard  az rohash namegardad» – meguft u. Bo hidoyat va dastgirii padaram na tanho tekhnikum, balki donishkadai kooperativii Samarqandro niz khatm namudam.

Vay «mulk»–i khudro ba man tamosho doda, garmu jushon guft:

– Agar man puli bisyor medoshtam, oshyonai duyumu seyumro kharida donishkadai savdo mekushodam. Kormandi savdo boyad hama chizro donad, hama chizro!

Pas az  kame andesha oromona afzudand:

– Tijorat asrori ziyode dorad, ki to hanuz purra kashf nashudaast, boyad onro omukht va dar maktabash sabaq girift. Tijoratro talim boyad dod. In kalidest baroi tadbiqi barnomai islohoti iqtisodi.

Furushanda Mavluda Muazzamova, ki ziyoda az dah sol boz bo akai Azamqul bar ba bar kor mekunad, chunin guft:

– Ustod madaniyati baland va  mukammale dorad. Bo dagaltarin mijoz zabon meyobad. Tamomi mol va narkhnomahoro az yod medonad. U kasbi khudro ba manoi tomi sukhan azbar kardaast. Man bore pursidam, ki u chi tavr in qadar molu narkhnomaro dar khotir nigoh medorad. Vay labkhand karda posukh dod, ki: «CHunki savdoro dust medoram». Ba aqidai man har yak odam kasbu kori khudro boyad ana hamin tarz, az dilu jon dust dorad.

Tifoqii in kollektivi 25 nafara maro tamoman maftun kard. Zero:

          Hama kas ba yak khuyu yak khost nest,

          Dah angushti mardum ba ham rost nest!

Bale, har yake khui khud, nozu nuzi khudro dorad.

Zani zeboandom – Adolat Halilova bo tabassumi beandoza shirin va samimona guft:

– U geniy. Hama kor az dastash meoyad. Zero u dust medorad. Dust doshta tavonistand – har korro karda tavonistan ast.

Bisyor khub guft.

Hamai 25  nafar sarvarashonro dust medorand, qadr mekunand va izzatu ikromashro ba jo meorand.

– Mehr – az du taraf, – meguyad akai Azamqul.

Bale, oyo az yak dast sado mebaroyad?!

Vay dar borai khud kam,  bemaylu havas gap mezanad. Vay gami digaronro mekhurad. Vay ba in zahmatu tashvishho hamai quvvai umri javonashro bakhshid. Vay mohiyati mehnatro khele chuqur va hamatarafa his kardaast. In hissi u dar chizhoi mayda– chuydai hamaruzai ruzgorash ifoda meyobad. Bo chi gamkhorii diqqatangeze, bo chi sabru toqati khayratangeze zerdastonashro tarbiya mekunad.

YAke az shogirdoni u – SHamsiya YUsufova bo iftikhor chunin naql namud:

– Bore yak mizoji shilqin jonamro ba lab ovardu yak– du gapi obdor zadam. Ustod nasihat karda guft:

– Sukhan shamsher nest, ki onro  dar maydoni jang va korzor ba shastu gazab az gilof barkashi. On yori andeshaest, ki tamkini zaminro az tu chashmdor ast.

Javoni navchai khushsimo – Tohir Boqiev, ki yak sol pesh ba in magoza omadaast, chunin guft:

– Ruzhoi nakhustini kor bud. Javoni karda yak  mijozro fireb kardam. Ustod chi khel fahmidand, to hol hayronam. Jeg zada guftand: «Aknun rohi kisaro faromush kun, rohi dilro daryob!»

Akai Azamqul dar muoshirat ba ehsosoti nolozimu durusht roh namedihad. Oromu botamkin buda sarosema nameshavad. Harakat mekunad, ki norozigi, ranjish, asaboni shudani khudro, ki dar koru zindagi ba amal meoyad, malum nakunad.

– Be hurmat – bovari nest, be bovari sertalabi ham shuda nametavonad, –   meguyad u. – Agar man nisbati hamkoron (u kalimai «zerdaston»– ro bad mebinad) ba durushtiyu dagali roh diham, onho bo mijozi hamchunin mekunand, ki in  oqibati khub nadorad.

Andake khayol karda, bo ovozi past va muloim ilova namud:

– CHi andoza jumhuriamon obod meshud, agar har yak kas kori az  dastash meomadagiro mekard.

Diqqati maro shakhse ba khud kashid, ki tuy doshtaastu lavozimoti lozimiro farmoish medod.

– CHi, oyo  shumo farmoish ham qabul mekuned? – hayron shudam man.

– Bale! Kase ki chize ki khohad!

Hamon ruz ba magoza  mijozi khoriji omad.

– Kurpacha dored? – pursid u az Mavluda.

– Ne, nadorem, – bo tabassum posukh dod Mavluda.

– Meshavad? – boz pursid mijoz.

– Ne, nameshavad. Zero yagon fabrika kor namekunad, – gunahkorona javob dod Mavluda.

– Obbo… – gufta mond mehmon.

Mavluda dar khijolat mond. Sup– surkh shuda raft. Araq kard. Az on ki hojati mehmonro nabarovard tabash khira bud. In holati uro dida, akai Azamqul hazlomez pursid:

– Koru bor chitu?

– Kor–ku bad ne, vale bor – bad, – posukh dod u va voqearo naql kard.

Akai Azamqul ham gamgin shudu ham khursand. Gamgin az on ki mijoz – boz khoriji! – norizo raftaast. Hursand az  on ki Mavluda az in ozurda shudaast. YAne zahmathoyash barabas naraftaand. Harchand falak gardishi khudro tagyir dodavu zindagi gayriintizor digargun shudaast Mavluda insofu andozaro az dast nadodaast. Okhir, kam nestand ashkhose, ki nobasomonihoi solhoi okhirro bahona pesh ovarda, dast ba obi khunuk namezanand, dar yagon joy kor namekunandu ba hej chiz dilashon namesuzad. YAk qabilashon rohi osoni zindagiro yoftandu bo firebu nayrang, qallobivu jallobi ruz meguzaronand. Hamkoroni u boshad kushish ba kharj medihand, ki talaboti kharidoronro qone gardonand. Vale na hamesha in ba onho dast medihad. Hodisai imruza ba in guvoh. Vay ruzi daroz pobandi in andesha bud. SHabro ham khele norohat guzarond. Goh ba in pahlu charkh mezad, goh ba on pahlu. Subh ba yodash omad, ki dar mahallaashon kurpaduze hast. Vay pesh dar kim– kadom fabrika kor mekard. Holo boshad bekor. Ba nazdash raft.

– E, kani chitu satinu pakhta, – ohi sard kashida gamginona guft u. – Bad kharidor–ku?

– CHitu satinu pakhta va kharidorro man meyobam. SHumo dukhta dihed, shud.

– Koshki. – khursand shud u. – Bo  dilu jon.

Va u chand kurpacha dukhta dod. Onho tez ba furush raftand.

– Ana hamin khel kofta – kofta zanhoi khonashinu hunarmandro yoftem, – guft akai Azamqul. – Mo az mizojon farmoish girifta ba onho merasonem. Onho sari vaqt va bo sifati baland ijro mekunand. Ham ba onho foida, ham ba mizojon va ham ba  mo. Bo yak tir se nishon!

Ba utoqi kori akai Azamqul vorid gashtem. On khurd va ba juz apparati telefon va yak mizu chand kursi digar chize nadosht. Ru ba ru nishasta muddate sokit mondem. CHand bor u ba suyam savolomezu khayolomez nazar afand.

– Bisyoriho gumon mekunand, ki iqtisodi bozori bo khohishi hukumati jumhuri boshad. Aybe nest, agar in tashabbusi onho boshad. Vale in talabi zamon ast. CHun dar tabiat zimistonro  bahor ivaz mekunadu bahorro tobiston, tarikhi jamiyat ham az jarayoni tagyiryobii doimi dar kanor nest. Moro iloji digar, rohi digar nest. Rohi yagona – iqtisodi bozori! Va in ibtidoi jamiyati nav ast. In yak daryofti millist. Va   mo boyad in mavridi musoidro oson az dast nadihem, ki noshukri va nosiposi meshavad. Zero iqtisodi bozori iqtisodi farovoni, iqtisodi tartibu intizom, iqtisodi mahorat va uhdabaroi, iqtisodi haq va rost meboshad. Mo boyad ba tariqi nav, bo quvvayu gayrati nav kor kunem. Hullas, zamone shudaast, ki justuju, justuju va boz justuju lozim ast. Justujui rohhoi navi khojagidori. Va yake az in rohho beshubha khususigardonii molikiyati davlati meboshad. SHaklhoi gunoguni molikiyat kalidi halli masoili murakkabi iqtisodiyoti ruzgor ast. Vale molikiyatkhari kori oson va shukhi nest, on masuliyati buzurge dorad.

Va nogahon az chi boshad, ki dar yak dam chehraash kohid, rangash parid. Zohiran az chize ba gazab omad. Muddate sokitu khomush ba nuqtae chashm dukhta mond. Sipas kanda– kanda, guyo chize rohi guluyashro band karda boshad, chand bor sulfid. Va ohista lab ba sukhan vo namud:

– Sad afsus, ki bazeho mohiyati khususigardoniro nafahmidaand. Gumon mebarand, ki khususigardoni az kharidani amvol iborat astu bas. Ne, in khatost. Andeshai sarsarist. Ruhi onhoro havoyu havas bolu par bakhshidaast. Va mo manzarai noguvorero mebinem: bisyor inshootho  noobod, kharob yo ba darashon qulf ovezon. Tasavvur mekuned?

Va man in manzararo tasavvur mekunamu dar dil ba ehsosoti  u sharik meshavam.

– Ki gunahkor ast? – boz ba man ru meovarad u. Va khudash javob medihad:

– Pesh az hama nomukammalii qonun. Dar natija molikiyat ba dasti odamoni tasodufi, belayoqat, nouhdabaro meaftad. Bore didam, ki yake olotu asbobro berahmona istismor menamud. Dilam sukhtu guftam, ki o in khel kuni chor ruz pas korkhonaat furu meravad. «Korat chi?! – dug zad u. – Mol moli khudam, chi kore ki khoham mekunam!» Ba in khel zotho chi javob medihed? Onho layoqate qudrate nadorand, ki ba fardoyu pasfardo loaqal bo gushai chashm yak nazar andozand. Baroi onho khushii yakruzai zindagii  khud avlotar az oyandai mulku mamlakat ast. Vale on ruz man past naomadam. YAke man meguftam, yake u. Hej tan namedod. Va past ham nameomad. To on dame ki in misraho biguftam:

     Ablahe, k–u ruzi rushan shami kofuri nihad,

     Zud bin, k–ash to ba shab rugan naboshad dar charog.

U ba man yak chashm partoft, ruyashro bo dastash molida, ifodai qahru gazabro az on rufta partoft. Az sari nav dar chehrai u yak chize kudakonae padid omad.

– CHi gufted? – pursid u.

– Hususigardoni – in chist?

– Hususigardoni? In inqilob! – bo ohangi bovarii qati guft u. – Ha, ha, inqilob dar iqtisodiyoti jumhuriamon. Okhir, mo az yak namudi molikiyat ba digar namudi molikiyat meguzarem. Oyo in inqilob nest?

– Bale! Va yane ki shumo nakhustin shuda ba in inqilob barkhosted?

– Bale, avvalin shuda, –   posukh dod u  va lahzae ba andesha raft. Sipas ohista lab ba sukhan vo namud:

– Ba parrandagon hasad mebaram. Hama chiz dar hokimiyati onhost. Ba kujo khohand parvoz mekunand, dardevu game nadorand dar dil. Mo chi? Hama chizro ba taqdir havola mekunem. Kim– chiro intizor shuda meistem. Hamin tavr nest?! Ba aqidai man, zindagi in maydoni taloshhost. Muboriza burdan darkor ast! Hamtu ne?!

Vay in guft va soli 1991 dari khotiraashro kuftand, ki qonuni khususigardoni qabul shud. «Boyad kharid! – Qaror dod u. – Amvol sohibi khudro yobad, hama gunna naqshai nek rui ob baromada metavonad». Va ba tagopu aftod. Oson nabudaast in kor. Vale qafo nagasht. Bayti «Gar zi po aftam, nakhoham mond az rohi talab, dar surogash to maro dast ast, doman mekasham» shiorash bud. Va oqibat 21  sentyabri soli 1991 magoza ba molikiyati kollektivi tabdil doda shud. Narkhi boqimondai magoza 50, 4 hazor sum bud, vale onro ba onho bo narkhi bahoii yak millionu sesadu bistuhasht hazor sum furukhtand.

– Albatta in kori mo, – guft u, – kori baso masuliyatnok bud, vale mo ba tajribai khud, durustii rohi intikhobkarda bovari doshtem.

– Vallo, ki in jasorat ast.

U bo kamoli etiqod sar junbonda bo ohangi buro guft:

– Dar mavridi khud kor farmudani jasorat ham khislati bebahost.

– Ho, naboshad, chi! – bo mayli tom ba gapash rozi shudam man va boz savol dodam:

– Gufted, ki narkhi magoza 1328 hazor sumro tashkil kard. In puli kam nest. Onro ki dod?

– Tamomi kollektiv az hisobi pasandozhoi khud. Vale on kami kard. Az in ru majbur shudem, ki az bonk qarz bigirem.

– Qarzi befoiz?

– Hesti, ki khobaton, –  khandid u. – Bo dah foiz. Mo onro ba muhlati du sol girifta budem, vale dar yak sol bo bonk hisobi kardem.

– Dar hasht soli islohoti iqtisodi hamagi 30 foizi molikiyati davlati khususi gardonida shudaast. Sabab chi boshad?

– Sababho bisyorand. Vale sababhoi az hama asosi sakhtjonii psikhologiyai kuhna, andeshai dubora bargashtan ba nizomi iqtisodiyoti peshtara. Vale in hama khobu khayolest. Tavassuti farmonfarmoi iqtisodiyot inkishof nameyobad. Az fakti tarikh joi gurez nest. Mo boyad etirof kunem, ki ba in holati noguvor ziyoda az 70 sol muroso kardem, bekhabar az on ki oqibathoi on ba kujoho khohand ovard. Bemuboliga bisyor rohbaron ham muqobili islohoti iqtisodi meboshand. Namekhohand, ki korkhonaho ba korgaron taalluq doshta boshand. Oidi manfiati, mehnatkashon dilsuzona gap mezanand, khususigardoniro kashol medihand. CHunki korkhonahoi davlati ba onho chun obu havo zarur ast, zero baroi bo rohhoi gayriqonuni jam ovardani sarmoya imkoniyati vase medihad. Ba hamin vajh zarur ast, ki jarayoni khususigardoniro tezonida, tamomi molu mulkro ba hama taqsim karda dihem!

– SHoyad ba in tajribai digar kishvarho musoidat kunad?

– SHoyad. «Aql ravnaq girad az aqli digar» – guftaand. Vale mo naboyad nuskhabardori kunem. Durust ast, ki bisyor mamlakatho tajribai boy dorand. Vale tabiati mardum va khususiyathoi millii iqtisodii Tojikiston tamoman digar ast. Binobar in «obe ki ushturro to zonust, sangpushtro az sar meguzarad». Mo naboyad ba yagon mamlakat taqlid kunem. Vagarna ba har su tob khurda, sar ba sad dar zada ba joe narasidanamon mumkin ast.

– Holo dar bayni mardum du ibora: «zamoni rukud» va «zamoni bozsozi» mavjud hast. SHumo hardu zamonro dided. Kadomash khub ast?

– Beshubha zamoni bozsozi. Zamoni rukud dahonbasta, dastbasta, pobasta budem. Ba qavli shoir:

       Dar miyoni chor daryo takhtabandam kardai,

       Boz megui, ki doman tar makun, hushyor bosh.

Holo ozod hastem. Va natijai kori mo guvohi in ast. Soli guzashta gardishi mol ziyoda az 200  million rublro tashkil dod. Ba bujai davlat ziyoda az 40 million rubl mablag vorid gasht. Vale in muhim nest. Muhim on ast, ki mo talaboti kharidoronro bo  molhoi khushsifat qone megardonem. Az tarafi digar imkoniyat paydo kardem, ki ba tashkilotho va oilahoi kambizoat kumak rasonem.

Tavre, ki shaykh Attor mefarmoyad:

              Hotiri aytomro daryob niz,

              To turo payvasta haq dorad aziz.

– Sakhovat behtar ast yo shujoat?

Favran bo harfi Sadi posukh dod:

           Navishta ast bar guri Bahromi gur,

           Ki dasti karam beh zi bozui zur.

– Dar zindagi chi mekhohed?

– Mekhoham, ki mehru muhabbat, izzatu hurmat, qadrshinosi va ikhlos ba hamdigar poydor boshad. CHunonchi, Mavlavii Balkh farmudaand:

             Biyo, to qadri yakdigar bidonem,

             Ki to nogah zi hamdigar namonem.

             Garazho tira dorand dustiro,

             Garazhoro charo az dil naronem?

– Ba korkunoni sohai savdo chi guftanied?

– Mo ba qadri hayot namerasem, kushish mekunem, ki hama korro bo tezi ba somon rasonem. Baroi gun doshtani mol talosh mekunem, bekhabar az on ki zindagi ba odam yak bor meoyad. Odam naboyad ba moli dunyo dil bandad. Doro shudan oson. Ammo aql muflis meshavad, mehri nekbinash zaif va notavon. Hargiz gurusnai pulu mol nashaved. Gurusnai pulu mol hej goh ser nest va nameshavad. Ba guftai Sadii buzurg:

             CHashmi tangi mardi dunyodorro

             YO qanoat pur kunad yo khoki gur.

Mekhoham, ki odamon adoi shukr kunand. SHukr behtarin zinnati qalb buda, hamesha chun oina dilro sayqal medihad.

Ba tolori magoza mebaroem. On tozavu ozoda va ravshan. Rafho chashmu asabhoi tarangro narm karda, ba dilho oromi mebakhshand, dil meraboyad. Haridoron ziyodand. Bo yake shinos meshavem.

– Man SHarofat Hasanova, – meguyad javonzane. – Dar  binoi ru ba ru zindagi mekunam. Doim ba hamin magoza meoyam. CHize ki ba man lozim ast az hamin jo dastras mekunam.

– SHumo ham dar nazdiki zindagi mekuned? – ba digare ru meorem.

– Ne, – meguyad u. – Man dar nazdiki kor mekunam. Va mizoji doimi meboshad. Zero dar in jo hama chiz hast. Boz muhimash on  ki bosifat

Akai Azamqul dar kurtaash namegunjad, ki magozaashon pisandi mizojon ast.

– Dided, chi tagirotho ruy dodast! Ana hamin ast manbai ilhom, shodivu khursandii man, ana hamin ast bakhti man!

Man tanho yak inshootro misol ovardam, zero, ba fikram, chunone, ki dar yak qatra yak jahon aks meyobad, dar taqdiri in inshoot ham didan mumkin ast, ki navsozi, chi tabadulote ba miyon ovardaast.

Vale on bo osoni ba dast naomada!

Mushkil?

Bale!

Vale vaqt chorayu tadbir talab mekunad.

Susti mekuni? Muntazir meshavi? Huddori  mekuni?

Rohro kholi kun?

Ba ozimoni oyanda!

Onho sozanda, fotehu poyandaand!

17 mai soli 1998