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Hudkushi

Se nafar, odamoni ba qavli khudashon ulfati, rui maysai labi juybori serob nishasta, baroi khud dastarkhon muhayyo mekardand. SHoyad onro dastarkhon guftan joiz  naboshad, zero ba sifati dastarkhon yak ruznomai gijimshudai kuhna pahn karda shuda bud. Rui hamin dastarkhonro yak shisha sharob, du-se bekh piyozi anzur, yak konservi kilka, nim lunda noni siyoh oro medod.

samoubijstvo—Hozir khudamon yak dastarkhoni tuyona muhayyo mekunem, — guft yake az onho, marde,ki dar baynashon az hama kalonsol menamud. Va az kisai pijakash taqriban nim kilo hasibro, ki dar yak pora kogazi zardrang pechonida shuda bud,rui dastarkhon guzosht.

 — Misli hamon dastarkhoni tuyona, ki hozir moro az sari on rondand,—luqma partoft javoni gardandaroz, ki ruyash kunjidmonand dog dosht,bo ohangi tamaskhur.

 — E Nasim, vay dastarkhoni chi bud! — dast afshond mard.— Hozir mebini dastarkhon chi khel meshavad.

 — Rost, magar vay dastarkhon bud?! — ba gap hamroh shud nafari seyum, ki az goyati masti qarib pinakash burda bud.— Dar rui dastarkhoni mo hama chiz hast…hatto mohi! Janob, chi khel mohi mefarmoed? — ba Nasim ruy ovard vay.— Sudak, fazan, laqqamohi…

 — Ahmaq, in kilka ast! — hamono bo itob sukhani uro burid Nasim.

— Nasim ! — noroziyona ba javon dida dukht mard. — CHaro khud ba khud  az har gap misli khas darmegiri? — Va bad gur-gurkunon dahoni konservi mohiro bo kajkordi dastaash siyoh ba kushodan ogozid.— Hozir maishat mekunem. CHi gufti, SHaftolu? — guft vay ba javoni digar.

— E!— yaqin az nom burdani laqabash noroziyona ruy tursh kard javon. —O,man nom doram, Musulmon nomam.

 — CHi?! — neshkhand zad Nasim.— Tu musulmoni?! Kofari tu, kofar. Musulmon,a!  Dar intikhobi nomi tu padarat khato kardaast. Hamon laqabi SHaftolu ham ba tu ziyodati. Az shaftolu dahoni odamon shirin meshavad, tu boshi fachi!

— Bas, guftam,Nasim — darhol ba mobayn daromad mard.

  Musulmon shoyad az in tuvu manguiho, ki odatan bo mushtzanivu girebongiri meanchomid, harosida, majroi gapro ba digar taraf gardond.

— Aka, tu Samandara meshinokhti, a? — ba mard murojiat kard vay.

— Kadom Samandar?

— Hamone, ki dina dar khonaash khudashro ovekht.

—  Nakhod? Uh, bacha, qahramoni kardaast-ku!

— CHi, az tashvishi zindagi harosida, panj nafar farzandi khurdsolro yatim karda, khudro ovekhtan magar qahramonist? — shurid Nasim. — Bar zammi in dar dini mo khudkushi gunohest azim.

— Naboshad-chi?! Tu gumon mekuni, ki ba gardani khud halqa andokhta, margro ru ba ru khonda, jon dodan kori oson ast. Benihoyat mushkil ast in kor, jura. Hudo ba inson jon ato mekunad va tanho khudi vay metavonad osonakak onro bozpas girad. Man chandin odamonro medonam, ki hamagi chand soniya ba talvosai jon kandan tob ovarda, resmoni gardanashonro ba dasti khud buridaand. Ammo on javonmard az dami tegi marg natarsida, uro faro khondaast. SHoyad lahzai okhirin ba ruyash piskhand zada boshad, ki didi, digaronro az ehsosi tu badanashon ba larza medaroyad, az tars chashmonashon az kosakhonaash mebaroyad, ammo man khudam turo ba jangi tan ba tan jeg zadam.Qandasha zanad mardak! Mearzad, ki baroyash haykal guzorand. Agar haykal guzorand voqian ham ajib meshavad, a! Samandar ba rui marg mekhandad, tuf mekunad va misli hindukhoe, ki ruzhoi id dar tanashon libosi rangorang, dar gardanashon gulchanbar filsavor dar kuchaho sayr mekunand, ba gardani marg savor shuda qoh-qoh mekhandad. Agar tu haykaltarosh mebudi surati margro chi guna tasvir mekardi?

Nasim javob nadod.

— Man, —  sukhanashro bo hamon ohang idoma dod mard,— uro dar simoi yak mardi devsurat, nokhunhoyash daroz-daroz, mui sarash pahnu pareshon, chashmonash sup-surkh tasvir mekardam… Rez! — guft vay yak istakoni dusadgrammaro az   kisa barovarda. — Baroi Samandar menushem.

Musulmon zud istakonro az sharob pur kard.

Harse banavbat yakqadahi nushidand.

— Tu bachai baaqli, ammo bazan gaphoi havoi megui,— pas az qadahro nushidan ba Nasim ruy ovard mard bo ostini pijakash labonashro pok karda.— Megui, ki khudkushi kori oson ast…

— E,bas kun! — miyoni sukhani uro shikast Nasim. Ba dilam zad hamin falsafakhonii tu. Tamomi mardumi olam khudashonro ovezand. Kori man chi! Maqul boshad, ovekhtan girand.

— Ne, tu az gap nagurez.

— Hayr, ana. gapi tu maqul. Hudkushi dar haqiqat qahramonist.SHud? Joni man khalos?

— Tu, kudak, ba sari mana dod mezani?

— Man ba sari tu dod nazadam .Guftam-ku gapi tu makul.Man avval az kamaqliba reshai gapi tu sarfahm naraftam. Mebakhshi, aka, sad bor mebakhshi.

— Ana in gapi digar, rez!

Onho,inak payiham chandin qadah bardoshta, toraft mast meshudand, beist sukhani yakdigarro burida,goho bo dugu pupisa va goho kame orom shuda, ba yakdigar gap fahmonidani meshudand.

— Marg asal ast, — guft mard dar joi nishastash alvonj khurda.— Ammo mo, insonhoi beaql, shirinii in zindagii zormondaro az on asal avlo medonem. Murda-murda bori garoni zindagi mekashem: shikamamon goh seru goh gushna, asabamon tarangu poyamon nimbarahna, dilamon ziq… Lekin zistan mekhohem, dudasta az domani zindagi meqapem. Bore dar kitobi yak navisandai amrikoi… nomash ki bud? — muddate bo kafi daston sarashro dosht vay. — Jak…Jak.. Hayr, nomash muhim nest. Hamon navisanda navishtaast, ki tanho marg insonhoro az azobi zindagi raho mekunad. Ammo odamon ba ogushi kushodai vay bo dili nokhoham meravand… Dar in jo chi sirre pinhon boshad, a? SHaftolu, tu medoni?

— Musulmon gued, aka, Musulmon.

— O hozir ana in mardaki nagz guft, ki tu musulmon nesti… Kofari! Biyo, nomi turo Kofar memonem. CHi khel? Ba fikram nomi zebo! A, Kofar! Hayr, mebakhshi, Musulmon…girehi hamin muammoro kushoda metavoni?

— Rosti gap, man ham bore qasdi khudkushi kardam, — chashmonash nimpush ba gap daromad Musulmon.

— Tu ham khudatro ovekhtani budi? — pursid mard.

— Ne, ovekhtani nabudam. Mekhostam az bomi binoi nuhqabata khudamro partoyam. Odam goho dar rohhoi kaju kilebi zindagi rahgum zada, ba hamin roh meraftaast. CHi khel guyam…Goho az tanhoi, bazan az nofahmii atrofiyon, yo az  vazninii bori garoni zindagi.

— Kadom padarqusur turo az in kori khayr bozdosht? — pursid Nasim.

Musulmon noroziyona ba rui vay chashm davonda, sukhanashror  idoma dod:

— Vaqte ki labi  bom omada, ba zamin nigoh kardam, chashmam siyohi zad, vahm dar dilam khona kard. Zud khudro qafo kashidam.

— CHunki tu tarsui! — dod zad Nasim . — YAk bandai khudozadai noshudi!

— Ki noshud? Man?

— Ha, tu!

— Gapatro donista zan, haddatro shinos. Man …

— Tu chi?! — ba tahdid guzasht Nasim. — Qahramoni? Ne-e, tu mushi murdai! Agar ne , hozir vaqte ki ba banogushat yak mushti obdor zada, sharmandavor az tuykhona peshat kardand, dumatro khoda nakarda, aqallan yak bor ba qafoyat nigoh karda megufti, ki charo maro mezaned? Man az shumo chi kami doram? Hayr, manu in mardak be davat rafta budem. Ammo tu davat shuda budi- ku! Moro  ham ba holu  jonamon namonda, az qafoyat kashola karda burdi.

— Aybi khudamon shud, ba raqqosa nojo chaspidem.

— Aybi khudamon bud, — dast ba quttii konserv burd Nasim. — Hozir man ba tu, tarsonchak, nishon mediham aybi ki bud.

— Hoy, oqipadarho! — kajkordro ba istakon zada, onhoro az mujodala bozdosht  mard. — Tuyi khudamonro ham vayron nakuned, okhir! In nozu nematro charo pushti po mezaned, — yakbora khandid u. — Nushed, khured, maishat kuned az davlati akaton.

— Tuyaton saratonro khurad, — quttii konservro gashta ba joyash guzosht Nasim. — Ba badam zadi harduyat.

Musulmon kalavida az joy khest.

— Kujo? — tahdidikunon mard niz az joy nimkhez shud.

Ba khona … Dar khona khudamro meovezam. Man ba shumo nishon mediham qahramonira. O! O! Man ba shumo qah… qah… qah… U! U!

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